When you promise you'll do something, then later determine its impossibility - what do you do?
In my latest book, I reveal the 7th principle of confidence: Promise made, promise kept. Here's the idea: All you've got in the end is your sense of self-integrity. Can you be relied on to keep your word and finish your race?
If you keep your promises, even past the point of pain, you'll become a person of your word -- A person of excellence, execution and all things bankable. Along the way, though, you'll encounter the unkeepable promise - that Happy Talk moment when you raised your hand and said, "I'll make this happen for you!"
I've been there before, one time too many. A few years ago, I stumbled into a great antidote for that generosity driven psychosis.
Keep the impossible promise far past the point of pain.
An engineering friend had a workable business cocnept for online auto purchase utility. I promised to help him with his business plan, then get some angel money from 'some guys I know.'
A few weeks later, it became clear to me that I wasn't very good at business plan, and the investors I knew were only interested in companies already throwing off cash (not power points). Instead of throwing up my hands, I dug in and said to myself, "this will teach you, dude! Stop saying 'I know a guy'!"
The business plan piece alone was a time-drain of epic proportions. Eight weeks went by before that piece of the promise was delivered, in effort, by me. Then came the $ pitches. Both of them. Horrible experiences, where it became clear that no one invests in 'good ideas.'
Luckily for me, my friend gave up and went back to work on his engineering career. And I have never made such an offer since then. Here's the takeaway. Sometimes you only learn at a viceral level - especially when it comes to bad habits like over-promising. Only through excrutiating accountability will you teach your deepest self to stop, quit and never-do-this-again.
Here's a side benefit from keeping the unkeepable promise: You'll discover that the thing you call impossible is usually "just-really-really-really-hard!"
Very nice bit of advice! Without pain, without sacrifice, there is no real lesson learned. Consequence is the best teacher.
Posted by: Andy Himes | September 02, 2011 at 11:04 AM
Great post, Tim. It's so easy to get caught up in the excitement and offer help beyond our capacity. Your guidance to make sure we don't over-promise makes life better for everyone.
Thanks, Tim.
All the best,
David
Posted by: David J. Pollay, The Law of the Garbage Truck | September 01, 2011 at 07:30 AM
Tim,
When I wrote that book with my dad ( http://www.tinyurl.com/TPDonAmazon ) we spent a LOT of time, just on the aspect of:
"When I say 'I Promise' what I really mean is..."
Your post today really struck a chord with me. Thanks!
Posted by: Jason W. Womack, MEd, MA | August 30, 2011 at 11:07 AM