Mentors: Ask for some advice

Often, when we talk or think about mentoring, we see it as a broadcast model. 

We talk, our mentee listens and knowledge is transferred.  While that is technically true, to operate this way misses the synergy of knowledge sharing.  Think, instead, of mentorization -- the interaction between two people, where information is traded. 

Many times, you offer important information to someone junior to you in the value=space.  In almost every situation, though, he or she can teach you a thing or two.  When Stanley Marcus Jr. hosted a mentoring lunch with me a decade or so ago, towards the end of it, he asked, "What should I know that I may not know?"  He then went silent, while I contemplated what I could actually teach him. 

Then, I started to talk about customer experience, and the idea that satisfaction surveys failed to measure the customer's emotions - which was the heart of the experience.  He nodded appreciatively, took note of the book I mentioned (The Experience Economy) and paid the bill.   Then, as we left, he asked me for feedback on the advice he'd offered a few months previously.  I shared the pro's and con's of what he told me, based on my real world experience.  By asking me for feedback, he closed the info-loop. 

He gained as much as me, even though he was clearly the mentor in this situation.  Do the same with the people you are trying to help.  Let them teach you and ask for feedback regarding your advice.  If you do this, you'll prove out what Mr Marcus told me one day: "You will never get dumber by making someone else smarter ... so long as you are a good listener!"  

 

Comments

[Mulberry Alexa Outlet]

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

[Tim]

Good point, Tim. At this point, you two have a collegiate relationship. You are exchanging as peers, where you aren't prescribing as much as you are riffing. You likely couldn't have pulled this off years ago, as a serious knowledge delta would need to be addressed first.

At some point, stop teaching and start sharing. That's what I was getting at. Thanks for your continued contribution to this conversation!

[Tim Bursch]

Tim,
Mentoring can absolutely be a two-way street. I started mentoring a guy 7 years ago while he was still in college. We kept meeting after the formal program ended. Why? We both get value from the relationship. I learn about a slightly different industry. We share victories and defeats. Maybe mentoring in the business world today is like old-school apprenticeships. A real investment in each other...

[Gabriele Maidecchi]

That's actually what I try to do every time I talk to an intern or a new hire, try to give as much as he/she's able to give me. I think we're constantly in the process of learning and we shouldn't ever be cocky enough to think there's nothing to learn from someone with less experience than us.