Network with finesse

If you are not connecting, you are not networking.

Networking is not a matter of introducing yourself to someone and then finding out how they can help you succeed. Most of the time, it can be highly interruptive and obnoxious, especially if the person you are ‘networking’ with isn’t in the mood to network.

I was at a movie premiere last night and saw a cavalcade of stars at the reception including Clint Eastwood, Casey Affleck and John Cusak. They were all catching up with each other and chatting with their friends in the business. A friend asked me today if I networked with any of them and I replied, “no, it wasn’t a networking event, it was a movie opening.”

He looked puzzled. He knows I’m working on a film for next year and wondered why I didn’t seize the opportunity. I knew better. Someday I might be at a small get together, a conference or an industry meeting and I’ll see one of them and then I can say, “I was at your movie premiere!” and that will be an ice breaker.

The takeaway here is to be very sensitive to other people’s privacy and space, even when you see a great networking opportunity. If you want to network, either have someone introduce you in a private setting or create a networking event and invite people to attend.

Recommended read: Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi

Comments

[Christopher Scott]

Tim,

I see you're featuring Dr. Ivan Misner's book, 'Masters of Networking.' I've read two of his books and am currently a Gold Member in our local BNI Chapter, the Turlock Business Partners.

This is my philosophy for the book, 'Never Eat Alone.' I know I have to eat lunch, so I might as well eat lunch with someone who can donate some money to our nonprofit. :-)

[manifest money]

Normally I wouldn’t comment on posts but I felt that I had to as your writing style is really good. You have broken down a difficult area so that it easy to understand. I think that you would enjoy reading what another good blogger has to say on the subject.

[Matthew Cornell]

This is a great point, Tim, and one that's been a challenge for me to adopt. I think we're all excited about what we do, and tend to go on too much instead of *listening* to the other person. To paraphrase Mark Sanborn: It's better to be interestED, not just interestING.

I'm now firmly in the "build relationships" mode, and I'm actively looking for ways to help those I've met. Instead of asking for help, I'm striving to provide it - unasked. Little things are great - sending information about a broken link or typo, or a pointer to a relevant article - all good.

[Ganesh]

Hi Tim,

I'm a new reader to your blog. I'm closely reading your blog posts for the past few months. The articles you write were so interesting and practical.

Connecting to your "Network with finesse" article, i have a quick question and will be great if you can pull your thoughts on that.

I agree with your words, one needs to get connected to get networked. But, can you please tell some practical tips on, how can anyone get connected with people (may be an ordinary individual or a powerful personality).Like, how can we build trust, when we meet such personalities for the first time?

Thanks in anticipation.

Cheers,
Ganesh, India.