August 09, 2010

Don't screen someone for 'usefulness'

Recently, I took on a new mentee.  Even though I'm writing a new book, I need to practice what I preach and that means having a mentee at all times that I'm developing.  This means that I'll need to invest a few hours a week in this person and be available to answer questions or follow up on promises.  

I told one of my friends about my new mentee last week, and he replied, "So, how can he be of use to you?" This is a pretty typical approach many have to networking or giving.  In our culture, unfortunately, we screen people for utility prior to making personal investments in them (time, network, etc.). 

This is the wrongheaded way to think.  Adam Sandler gave comics advice and opportunity, without analyzing their potential impact on his career.  The inadvertent result?  He's created his own community of comics. If you want to be a great networker, flip this screening process on its head.  Ask yourself, "can I help this person be more effective in life?  Can I help this person rise up?"  

Don't look for the useful, create the useful.  This is the abundant way to approach mentoring or networking.  This suspension of return-on-investment is not lost on your recipient either.  If you want to spark the true spirit of giving, give freely, expect nothing in return except the satisfaction that you've been able to multiply the value of someone else. 

This is where faith can build a real network.  When others receive from you, and can't figure out how to repay you, they will often pay it forward - mentoring someone in the future.  This is the way that we givers can play catchup with the takers of the world.  Because the takers are vicious and work around the clock to 'get theirs'.  When I see a 'networker' sizing someone up for utility, I see a wolf in sheep's clothing.  

Posted at 10:16 AM in Business Effectiveness  |  Permalink  |  Comments (1)  |  TrackBack (0)

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Commentor

Tim - great post. Fortunately, I think more and more people are discovering the power of paying-it-forward. I've been around a while and am constantly amazed at how I am now reaping the rewards of kind things I did 10 and 15 years ago.

I keep sharing your message of "Love is the Killer App."

Posted by: Dan Miller  |  August 09, 2010 at 11:58 AM

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