Don't reply to say thanks

Here's another installation in my rules of email etiquette: Don't reply to say "thanks".

One of my basic rules of email is to let the thread (the back and forths) stop. Don't get in the last word, even if it is "thanks".

DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR?
You are working on a spreadsheet (and consulting paper) and your Outlook envelope starts to flash and you stop what you are doing to check your email. A coworker replied, "thx" on their crack berry -- you had emailed them a report yesterday. You peck hard on the delete button, sigh, and toggle back to the spreadsheet.

Multiply that interruption times five a day and you now understand the plight of the over-pinged information worker. One more interruption is still one more irritation. In my study on NEDS (New Economy Depression Syndrome), I quoted Heartmath Research Institute talking about how interruption was as bad as overload, when it came to creating information stress.

Let's be kind and let the digital conversations die with the successful transaction. The next time someone sends you what you ask for or answers your question -- tell her thanks in person the next time you see her. For now, give her a break so she can finish her spreadsheet and go home.

PS -- This counts 1000% for reply to all thanks. Those will drive you crazy and sometimes create a vicious cross post, leading to a dozen other RE RE RE RE email interruptions in your life.

You can get a pre-release audio version of my Dirty Dozen Rules Of Email Etiquette as a special bonus in the Whole Enchilada Media Package.

Comments

[Tetsou]

There is a time and place to reply. Try the 7 Deadly Sins of Email which explains that it's not always a good idea to have the last word.

Tetsou
http://www.tetsou.co.uk

[holly]

I'm wondering if it's mainly the what is said in the email. Just texting back "thx" is similar to getting a form letter. It lacks thoughtfulness, so it becomes just a confirmation receipt in your inbox.... just takes up space. I know this is silly, but I have kept emails where people have written thoughtful thank yous.I would argue that emailing to say thanks is not itself bad,it's emailing with a lack of a thoughtful thank you is bad.

[ann michael]

So then, "your welcome" is totally out - right :-)

Just kidding - I couldn't agree with you more!

Sometimes people say thanks on emails not because they want the last word - but because they are incorrectly applying "in person" manners to email. They consider it rude not to say thank you.

I must admit that for a couple of my clients like this, I do type a "thank -you" because they expect it! They also view it as a confirmation (it's like they don't completely trust that their email was delivered unless I respond).

But they are by FAR the exception - and easy to identify.

Ann

[Eric Pennington]

That's a great idea Tim! You accomplish both objectives (gratefulness and easing someone's burden) in one stroke. Thanks in advance:) for changing the world.

[Tim Sanders]

Eric has a good point, we don't want to seem ungrateful. Yesterday, one of my colleagues explains that they accomplish gratitude and email kindness by thanking people in advance. When you ask for the favor, end the request with "thanks in advance, I really appreciate it". Then you can have it both ways.

[Eric Pennington]

I think in situations where you work in the same office or close by, your idea works. But in remote situations I disagree. I always want to be remembered as someone who practiced the small-but-large art of saying thanks. Not replying with thanks leaves a potentially deadly void.

[Nathan Zeldes]

We saw a similar problem at Intel with "getting the last word" on IM chats: our users told us a major irritant they found with IM adoption was not knowing how to end a conversation. Our response was to make it an organization-wide expectation that every party gets to say only one "Goodbye"-type phrase...